little_firestar | Ghosts and dreams (Reply)

a little something to whish a happy birthday to

Sometimes, she dreams.

Actually, she always dream (even when awake. She has always believed that there’s just this amazing life waiting to happen to her out there, and that one day she’ll get to live it), but sometimes- often- she has the same dream (actually, it’s not always the same dream. She feels like they are a variation of each other. Or maybe the continuation of the previous one); it’s about stars, and planets, and aliens, and lost, forgotten times, too.

(It’s like looking at a sci-fi movie, only, it’s not, because it feels… real. Like it could make sense. Like it could happen- like it could have happened).

There’s also, always, always a man- the same one (and no, her dreams aren’t a mix of 50 shades of Grey and a sci-fi movie), and she feels like she is- has been-close to him. Intimate and yet not- in a way that no one could truly understand, not his lover and yet his soul-mate.

It’s sad, and maybe childish and bloody stupid, and yet… yet every time she closes her eyes and falls asleep at her husband’s side, she sighs and wonders why everything feels so bloody wrong.

She loves him, she knows she does; and yet she feels like her real soul-mate it’s the man in her dreams. Even if he isn’t real. Because… because he feels like he is real, flesh and blood and bones. It feels like he cares for her, admires her, respects her, appreciates her.

And yet… yet, if loving a ghost (is it better than having fallen for a dream?) isn’t bad enough…. She doesn’t even know his name.

In her dreams, she just calls him, always, Doctor.