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little_firestarlately, I've been a bit absent from all things fandoms, and I'm sorry, especially towards the authors I usually took time to read and review. Life's been quite excitc and full, with me getting theraphy for my back (no operation in the near future, by the way!) and having to watch after the new dog almost 24/7. Which, I'm telling you, is extremely tiring.
My mother's parents, living with us, also took a lot of my time. I've never been bothered to have to help watching after them, I've always loved them. but lately, as I not only noticed, but understood that they only feel disgust towards us, it's getting hard. And I can't even start to blame old age for that, and the parkinson (him) and the dementia (her) because now, looking back at eery words I've heard, everything that it's been done towards me and the family by them, I see that love has never been part of the equation, nor respect. According to the, they had mum because they were going to need soemone to look after them when they were going to be of age, and everything they did for her was because "what's people going to think about us?" they dìidn't even bothered buying her books for school for God's sake, they forgot to get her when she was barely 6 and had to walk kilometrees in the mud and in the snow to come back home in the dark of an isolated village,in order to get back home from school and when she couldn't fidn a job after ONE WEEK school was over, she ahd to accept a job at over 200 km away, just to be taken back by the same parents who sent her there to beging with, just when she ahd been promoted to concierge of the hotelm because if she decided to get married there, what people was going to say, and mostly, what were supposed to do, if they were going to need her?
and, well, hearing sentences like "I'd wish that there was a war right now, to get rid of all those usless youth" it's not exactly nice. Shouldn't people subbosed to be glad that we are living in a relatively peaceful environemnt, and nazis aren't thowing bombs on our heads? and let's not start when they tell mother "I'm not faking being blind like someoen here" (implying that,e ven if she has just 2/20, she is indeed faking it to get money out of them)
and let's not forget the most amazing thing of tehm all: while thye are good and pure even if tehy spedn theri whole time talking about all teh "whores" (their word) grandpa had slept with in his youth, and how he went to brothels (carefully expalining to her - AND us- how the worked), since there are condoms and pills, all the women are sluts spending theri time sleeping around. and yes, that includes my mum and, yes, me. because, Apparently, I can be in two palces at once, and while I'm home or on the job or at hospital with them because of soemthing or soemthing else, I0'm also somewhere else getting laid, and maybe getting paid for it. (And no, I',m not thinking it, they've just been that smart to say it at loud late at night, while I was in the kitchen getting water ).
Shocking that what makes me madder than everything is teh fact that, when we are around, our dogs and cats are just perfect and marvelous, while, as soon as we give them our back, they kicks them in the guts, litterally.
Unfortunately, they are family, and social workers told us that they aren't going to change, so we have toi endure this aas long as they'll be alive. this to say that I envy most of you, who live in a normal environemnt, with loving grandparents who shouldn't suffer. I'm not saying I'd wish for them to feel any kind of pain, just... it makes me wonder, why good pople has to suffer, and someoen who's basically evil all over is alwasy ok, and will probably outlive some other members of the family. This week a cousin of mine died, at the age of 59. he had a son and a daughter, and a grandchild, whom he was extremely exstatic about, on the way, and even if he was related to grandmother (she even was his Godmother), she didn't say a nice words about him, who's always been good to everybody, because of a single mistake, quite stupid and innocent, he did when he was 14.
it's just not fair.
My mother's parents, living with us, also took a lot of my time. I've never been bothered to have to help watching after them, I've always loved them. but lately, as I not only noticed, but understood that they only feel disgust towards us, it's getting hard. And I can't even start to blame old age for that, and the parkinson (him) and the dementia (her) because now, looking back at eery words I've heard, everything that it's been done towards me and the family by them, I see that love has never been part of the equation, nor respect. According to the, they had mum because they were going to need soemone to look after them when they were going to be of age, and everything they did for her was because "what's people going to think about us?" they dìidn't even bothered buying her books for school for God's sake, they forgot to get her when she was barely 6 and had to walk kilometrees in the mud and in the snow to come back home in the dark of an isolated village,in order to get back home from school and when she couldn't fidn a job after ONE WEEK school was over, she ahd to accept a job at over 200 km away, just to be taken back by the same parents who sent her there to beging with, just when she ahd been promoted to concierge of the hotelm because if she decided to get married there, what people was going to say, and mostly, what were supposed to do, if they were going to need her?
and, well, hearing sentences like "I'd wish that there was a war right now, to get rid of all those usless youth" it's not exactly nice. Shouldn't people subbosed to be glad that we are living in a relatively peaceful environemnt, and nazis aren't thowing bombs on our heads? and let's not start when they tell mother "I'm not faking being blind like someoen here" (implying that,e ven if she has just 2/20, she is indeed faking it to get money out of them)
and let's not forget the most amazing thing of tehm all: while thye are good and pure even if tehy spedn theri whole time talking about all teh "whores" (their word) grandpa had slept with in his youth, and how he went to brothels (carefully expalining to her - AND us- how the worked), since there are condoms and pills, all the women are sluts spending theri time sleeping around. and yes, that includes my mum and, yes, me. because, Apparently, I can be in two palces at once, and while I'm home or on the job or at hospital with them because of soemthing or soemthing else, I0'm also somewhere else getting laid, and maybe getting paid for it. (And no, I',m not thinking it, they've just been that smart to say it at loud late at night, while I was in the kitchen getting water ).
Shocking that what makes me madder than everything is teh fact that, when we are around, our dogs and cats are just perfect and marvelous, while, as soon as we give them our back, they kicks them in the guts, litterally.
Unfortunately, they are family, and social workers told us that they aren't going to change, so we have toi endure this aas long as they'll be alive. this to say that I envy most of you, who live in a normal environemnt, with loving grandparents who shouldn't suffer. I'm not saying I'd wish for them to feel any kind of pain, just... it makes me wonder, why good pople has to suffer, and someoen who's basically evil all over is alwasy ok, and will probably outlive some other members of the family. This week a cousin of mine died, at the age of 59. he had a son and a daughter, and a grandchild, whom he was extremely exstatic about, on the way, and even if he was related to grandmother (she even was his Godmother), she didn't say a nice words about him, who's always been good to everybody, because of a single mistake, quite stupid and innocent, he did when he was 14.
it's just not fair.
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