Ghosts and dreams

[little_firestar]

 a little something to whish a happy birthday to  bas_math_girl !

Sometimes, she dreams.

Actually, she always dream (even when awake. She has always believed that there’s just this amazing  life waiting to happen to her out there, and that one day she’ll get to live it), but sometimes- often- she has the same dream (actually, it’s not always the same dream. She feels like they are a variation of each other. Or maybe the continuation of the previous one); it’s about stars, and planets, and aliens,  and lost, forgotten times, too.

(It’s like looking at a sci-fi movie,  only, it’s not, because it feels… real. Like it could make sense. Like it could happen- like it could have happened).

There’s also, always, always a man- the same one (and no, her dreams aren’t a mix of 50 shades of Grey and a sci-fi movie), and she feels like she is- has been-close to him. Intimate and yet not- in a way that no one could truly understand, not his lover and yet his soul-mate.

It’s sad, and maybe childish and bloody stupid, and yet… yet every time she closes her eyes and falls asleep at her husband’s side, she sighs and wonders why everything feels so bloody wrong.

She loves him, she knows she does; and yet she feels like her real soul-mate it’s the man in her dreams. Even if he isn’t real. Because… because he feels like he is real, flesh and blood and bones. It feels like he cares for her, admires her, respects her, appreciates her.

And yet… yet, if loving a ghost (is it better than having fallen for a dream?) isn’t bad enough…. She doesn’t even know his name.

In her dreams, she just calls him, always, Doctor. 

Comments

[bas_math_girl]

This is just poetic, gorgeous and beautiful... I'm stunned by your enormous talent and generosity!!!

THANK YOU. *wipes away my happy tears* Thank you so much *hugs you tightly*

[little-firestar.livejournal.com]

please! just glad you liked it! Always thought that somewhere, in the deepest recess of her mind, SHE KNOWS soemthing isn't right...

[dm12.livejournal.com]

Intimate and yet not- in a way that no one could truly understand, not his lover and yet his soul-mate.

Wow, that is the perfect description for Ten and Donna! It did seem that they were made for each other, they were so much better with each other than without.

[little-firestar.livejournal.com]

ten and Donna remembered me of old married couples, where sex wasn't imnportant but the intimacy comes from soemthing within, deeper....

[dm12.livejournal.com]

Not to dis the sex, but it is the deeper meaning of intimacy, the knowledge of each other, that makes it a relationship. I've been married almost 30 years, we were (and are) best friends, and there is something very deep there....

Sex in that context is an affirmation, an extension of that intimacy, not the entire meaning of being together, but still an integral part of it.

You're right though, Donna and the Doctor remind me of an old married couple. They knew each other so well, complemented each other....best friends, and everyone mistook them for a couple.

[tkel-paris.livejournal.com]

Ooh... Ouch. So painful in its beauty. Yes, Donna would know something wasn't right. And I'm afraid of what it would mean for her future. :(

Saw this thanks to BMG's post about her online birthday presents. Thank you for posting.

[little-firestar.livejournal.com]

ohm beautiful Croiminal Intent icon! yes, I know... she isn't supposed to remember for her own good. but what if she did? I always hope that sooner or alter she'll end up at least appearing in a small scene...