Feb. 3rd, 2016

little_firestar: (b&w clint)
I'm that close to having a nervous breakdown.
This morning I dared to ask if my brother Drew was ok with me taking next Thursday afternnon off, as I have some paperwork to deliver to our accountant to start the inheritance procedure for my grandfather; I also have to go the Automobile Assocaition (The Automibile Club Italy) to work on the passage from him to my mother and my grandmother, AND on the passage of the telephone and electrical bills from him to them.
(Also, I'd need to get the documents ready to ask for the artisanal excellency- but I hope I'll be able to do that on Monday, when I have my free day.)
I got called names. igot lectured, like I was expecting who knows what, words and tone laced with venom hissed from his mouth  "Yeah, like I've never covered for you!"
I just told him, because I needed to know if he had already other appointments, otherwise I would have rescheduled. I told him so that he would know that I NEED to do that and he wouldn't take any personal appointments. I wasn't odering him around. Wasn't expecting anything. I'm not even doing anything FOR ME. It's for the family, and it's something I'll not benefit from, as a grand-daughter, for the Italian Law and succession I may as well don't exist. I do that so others don't have to. And because, frankly, it's expected me to- as all I ever hear is, "Havent' you done it?" "What are you waiitng for?"  Like I didn't have a job that keeps me busy 6 days a week, with consuming hours.
I never ask for days oof. Not even when I'm sick. And then I got threated like that, called a vermin, a dick's head? And my mother ask me why i don't go to yoga or take that photography lessons I wanted to?
Because I don't have time. And because I would get lectured that they are pointless and don't have any usage in life, and frankly, I'm tires as it is of fighting for serious issues, I don0t feel like addind to the the pile of crap the little things.
I AM TIRED. TOO DAMN TIRED. AND WITH A DAMN KNOT IN MY THROAT MANACING TO ESCAPE AND MAKE ME CRY. AND I NEVER CRY.

Profile

little_firestar: (Default)
little_firestar

May 2017

S M T W T F S
 1 23456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 21st, 2017 07:40 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios