Last night/early this morning, I lost my cat.
I came back from a wonderful weekend, the office's 20th anniversary and it was really great. JP was with me. Went to his place, took a small nap and I came home in the afternoon, nothing to it.
Bed time, I go under the covers and my cat follows me on there.
The neighbors upstairs came back from a week's vacation in Jamaica and it showed they were back.
Where my bedroom is situated, upstairs it's one of the kid's room. And she decided to cry/yell for a while.
Then Ginger, my cat, got startled or something and she fled off the bed and the bedroom. Except she didn't go far. She started meowing the way a cat does when they are gonna get sick but a bit louder. So I got up and went to find her.
She was right at my bedroom door, standing up but in a weird position and her back left leg was up in the air. At first, I thought she hurt herself and she would be fine, you know. Only, she started walking, with a lot of trouble and she wasn't putting her leg down at all. And then she laid down on that side. She wasn't meowing or anything.
Put on my jeans and started panicking. Went back to her and she wasn't there anymore. Found her in the living room, hidden between the wall and the couch. She laid on that side still.
Called the emergency vet office and, with a blanket, took Ginger, put her in the car and drove there. All the while she was meowing but like a cat that is not used to cars, and not like a cat in pain or anything. t the vet, that's when she started meowing in pain and growling and hissing at me. Had trouble picking her up while trying not to hurt her and I almost dropped her, too.
She didn't quite stop growling after that. It was a mix of the vet's office scent, the vet herself, the pain she was having and nervosity/stress.
The vet ended up doing an x-ray after giving a relaxant to Ginger. She didn't like what she saw for the leg on the spot. She said if they can only do one and see what's up, it's all good. If not they'll have to do a second. And they might have to go further.
They did 1. Only one. It was clear what was up.
Her leg was broken in 3 places. On the femur bone. The strongest, hardest to break. 3 places. From jumping off a bed in fear or whatever...
Then she gave me options.
- Surgery: 4000$ and there are no guarantees she even survives through it given she's 17 years old. No guarantee she survives recovery. And there is nothing insuring that still still be here in 6 moths either.
- Amputation: around 1500$ but she's 17 years old. I couldn't imagine her with 3 legs only at her age...
- Euthanisia: not an easy decision but she won't suffer and she lived a full life.
She said I didn't have to make my decision right away but I would have to take Ginger home in the meantime. With pills to keep her calm and reduce the pain... and the broken leg... which means she won't be able to move right and do basically anything... not even the litter box...
The vet said the femur bone is not supposed to have broken this way. I didn't see exactly what she was describing from the x-ray (aside from the breaks I mean) but she said there were black dots all over certain sections of the bone which means there was something else that might have helped the breaks. Like cancer or something. But only all over tests like blood works and stuff would tell us the real deal... She was 17 years old, she seemed healthy but I know she had some arthritis as it happened she was limping some times (and it might have been that leg, I don't remember).
So I took the decision to have her be put to sleep. The best decision for my baby. If she had been younger, I don't know but even then... no matter how much you love your animal, when is is too much, you know?
I spent a little time with her before giving the go to proceed. Even with relaxant, she was growling non stop, can you imagine? I was able to scratch her under her jaw (she always liked that), pet her head but I didn't go to far off that. I know she was still in pain and it really got to me.
To be honest, it takes all I have to not start crying right here on the spot as I type this at the office...
Told her she will go to a very beautiful place surrounded by other cats and she'll be young and healthy, she'll have infinite toys, catnip, candy, food and water. Told her she won't have to worry about anything up there and I wish her a heck of an amazing time. Told her I love her and I will miss her terribly.
And then I told her goodbye and gave the go. And I came back home at 2:12am this morning. Couldn't go to sleep until 4am. And I have been up, getting ready for work since 7:15am. And I am here, doing my best to keep busy and not think too much.
A good friend of mine knows as I called her. Told my mom via the Facebook messenger but she didn't see it yet so I will call her at lunch. And then I will post something on Facebook this afternoon I think.
My heart hurts terribly. I miss her already. RIP my baby. I love you and I miss your face and your fluffiness already. Hope to see you again one day, Ginger ♥♥♥♥